It might be a bit suspect to go round taking photographs in school staff room toilets, but I had to get a picture of Brian Moses’s poem, Cakes in the Staffroom, that had been lovingly posted on the wall of the Robin Hood School Staff Toilet .

This poem is the absolutely truth. There must be something about teaching that makes you crave cake and sugar and cream!

I was treated to a lovely buffet lunch in the staff room, which culminated in the cakes, which had been baked by one of the staff, who’s name I forgot to get. ( I really am not a journalist.) Hidden under all the cream were sponge rolls, mini black forest gateaux style cupcakes and fruit jelly tarts. Scrumptious was the only word. All beaten by hand, no electric mixers involved, and in was obvious. The sponge was so light.

My darling wife tells me you can’t make a cake by hand as well as you can my electric whisker, but I know differently. Once I made a Victoria Sponge Cake that I still dream of. All beaten by hand with a wooden spoon. I wish I knew what I did right that day. I do know that we have a useless oven that couldn’t cook a cake evenly if it tried. That doesn’t help.

Anyway. The teachers went quite gooey when the cakes came out, and became quite animated when wine was mentioned, so I can say categorically, that Brian Moses has got teachers taped!