• I’ve just had the most brilliant idea. Adrian Chiles used a “Love Mike” on the One Show tonight, to make his voice sound deep and sexy like Barry White. It didn’t sound very good, but the punters sent in romantic messages for him to read out.

    Well, I thought, I can do Barry White impersonations and Darth Vader too! So, I’ve just registered www.deepvoice.co.uk on which I’m going to offer myself as a deep voice artist!

    I think I should have an alter ego, The name Brute Torstein comes to mind! £6 for two years – surely I can turn a profit on that. This could be fun. I feel more butch and manly already!

  • I’ve been so busy since Christmas, I’ve decided to do nothing today – and so far I’ve succeeded. I went to have a look at a really bad auction, just a load of old rubbish and now I’m going to slob out in front of the TV.

    There comes a time when your brain needs a rest!

  • Walking back from my supper
    On the pub I passed what appears to be Snaresbrook Courts accross a pond full of irritated ducks and geese and swans. ( it’s scold night. I guess they’re feeling it too.)

    On the side of Snaresbrook road there is an old oak tree and tonight it is dusted in snow. My instincts told me tobtry and take a picture, even though it really was quite dark and there was only sodium street light. But what I got was this great, Blair Witch kinda picture. It’s a bit of avdpooky place at night. Half edge of London and half edge of Epping Forest. Oooer!